CBT : Choose to be happy!

There are many things that determine our lives for better or worse. Parents play a huge role of course, our environment, influences and peers also play a role . Out of this melting pot comes a mixture that either leaves us happy, depressed, seeking constant perfectionism or leading an unfulfilled life doing things that we would rather not. Nothing is perfect and we all have to accept things in a sense of give and take and if we are generally happy most of the time, that is usually enough for most people. A difficult question for many people is how do you know when you have reached this point of contentment where life is as good as it can be? In our constant search for “something new and better”, do we run the risk of overlooking what we already have and creating thought patterns and beliefs that stop us having the ability to be happy? During these unstable and difficult times, the happiness industry is booming.  The bookshops are full of self-help advice. Hedonistic happiness, the Buddhist route to happiness, being happy in your body, achieving spiritual peace, finding happiness through austerity and frugal living, contagious happiness through positive thinking. We all now have the opportunity to be truly happy, whatever book we choose to buy and study.

One view is that the way we interpret what happens to us has a greater impact on our quality of life than the events themselves. A Swiss psychologist, author and teacher, Yves-Alexandre Thalmann, cites the metaphor of the glass that’s either half full or half empty.

“Our brains are programmed to make sense of everything around us and that happens to us. We spend our lives interpreting facts,’ he explains. ‘These interpretations, positive or negative, generate corresponding emotions. These emotions determine our behaviour, the way we see life, and our relationships with others.’ For example, if it’s raining, you could say to yourself, ‘That’s today ruined,’ and be in a bad mood all day. Or you could say, ‘Great, it’s a chance to spend a cosy day at home,’ and this lighter mood will be much easier for those around you to live with”

As a CBT therapist, I work on the basis that our thoughts play a huge role in the way we see life and consequently how happy we are. While we should be very careful about dismissing negative thoughts completely, a programme of looking at things rationally can really help us to accept and find happiness in what we have…increase self-esteem and be more assertive. All cognitive behavioural approaches are based on the same idea: that our phobias, relationship difficulties and even our addictions are often linked to ‘cognitive distortions’ (or false beliefs that we have turned into facts) that we need to do something about. This is a practical way of looking at increasing happiness in what can be a routine and rather stressful everyday life. It has nothing to do with the Hedonistic pursuit of ultimate happiness which tends to be very individual (and material). When you appreciate what you have, what you have appreciates in value.  Being grateful for the good things that are already evident in your life will bring you a deeper sense of happiness.  And that’s without having to go out and buy or acquire anything new.  It makes sense.  You will have a hard time ever being happy if you aren’t thankful for what you already have and are able to recognise it.

When it comes to “thinking ourselves happy”, I wonder how many people place that responsibility on other people’s shoulders. I have always been of the opinion that nobody can change the way we feel or our lives except ourselves. We are truly responsible for everything we feel and consequently do. This is what led Thalmann to develop his theory based on an apparently simple premise: why not select the positive interpretations, which boost our wellbeing, and focus exclusively on them? ‘It’s a question of using free will to put our own spin on hard facts,’ he says. ‘Facts can’t be altered, as much as we might wish they could, but their significance is not contained within them – that is the story we tell about them. So you might as well link facts with plausible favourable explanations. I call it telling yourself nice stories.’

According to the results of a long-term study in Germany, happiness has more to do with our personal choices than it does with our genetic make-up. An international group of researchers analysed data gathered by the German Socio-Economic Panel Survey (SOEP) from its widespread study of 60,000 Germans over 25 years. They found that altruistic goals were more important than money, and that focusing on family, social activities, exercise, religion, and working the right amount were good choices to ensure happiness. The results show that it’s easier for people to become unhappier due to terrible life events, and much harder for people to improve their satisfaction with life by making the right choices – but that’s the area the researchers are most excited about.

“What’s new in our study is we are looking at choices you have, and what we demonstrate is choices makes the difference,”

Dr. Nicholas Jenner is a Counseling psychologist in private practice working with individuals, couples, groups and companies. Apart from seeing clients face-to-face, Dr Jenner also runs a thriving online therapy business bringing help to those who are housebound or located in rural locations where therapy is difficult to find. For more information , follow the link to his website HERE

Want to know more about Dr Nicholas Jenner? Check out what his clients say….HERE

Thoughts for the weekend

CBT : Challenging and disputing irrational thoughts is (and should be) an essential part of a therapist’s approach

Many people who turn to therapists for recovery have a stereotyped imagination of what they can expect from the experience. Many have the image of a Freudian like character sitting in a leather chair, saying nothing and occasionally coming out with some masterpiece of intellect that brings realisation. While it can be said that this is true in some cases, CBT therapists employ a much more flexible, hands-on approach that calls for challenging clients belief systems in various ways. This disputing of the client’s  ”window of reference” is sometimes hard for the client to take but is an essential part of a CBT therapist’s approach.

In general terms, the word ‘dispute’ carries a negative connotation associated with conflict, argument or row. In CBT, disputing means challenging the client to see irrational beliefs as unrealistic and encouraging  them to replace these with more rational, realistic versions. The aim is to replace long-standing false beliefs with a client driven flexible belief system in order to help them become less disturbed.  Clients often have problems  adopting this ‘verbal persuasion’ and sometimes change is only initiated over a long period. CBT therapists challenge clients in what is known as ‘multimodal disputing’. This means that it can take place across four spectrums. These being, cognitive, behavioral, imaginal and emotive. While these are all equally important in terms of the bigger picture and interdependent of each other, CBT therapists  will work mostly on cognitive disputing as this is seen as the ‘first among equals’. The aim of cognitive disputing, through interaction between client and therapist, is to lead the client into an atmosphere of self disputing and in essence to eventually become their own therapist. Disputing is generally done in five ways.

1. Rigidity versus  flexibility:

Classic all or nothing thinking, e:g, I must, I should and when not, my world will end. Therapists can challenge this thinking, making it more flexible meaning having strong desires but being prepared for setbacks.

2.Extremism versus non-extremism:

In other words, awfulizing. This means associating failures and setbacks with a generalized view that this setback proves the irrational thoughts around worthlessness and hopelessness correct. Non-extremism accepts that these failures makes things more difficult but they are not life-threatening.

3.Logical Reasoning:

This form of disputing is aimed at showing the client that feelings are not facts, e:g I feel terrible so I must be terrible. The goal is to show the client that there is no logical reason for these kind of thoughts by questioning the evidence for it.

4.Empirical Disputing:

A therapist can challenge a client to provide evidence that their demands on the world are realistic. When clients are perfectionist and expect  their demands to be fully met by themselves or someone else, questioning and experimenting can lead to more realistic beliefs. Some clients can also be  convinced that something terrible will happen to them…this can also be disputed using this technique.

5.Pragmatic disputing:

Clients who hold onto irrational beliefs over a long period often make these beliefs part of their personality or judgment system. By using ‘common sense’ questioning, a therapist can cast doubt on the wisdom  of holding onto these beliefs.

Novice CBT therapists often find the essential skill of disputing difficult in a number of ways.  Firstly, choosing the correct type of disputing can be difficult and  also which problem to dispute first. Secondly, it would be easy for the novice to be too directive with a client, get wrapped up in jargon and get lost when the standard approaches bring no result. One of the main criticisms of CBT is that therapists tend to talk too much and be too directive when disputing.

We have seen that cognitive disputing is often the first approach for CBT therapists. That is not to say that the other three mentioned earlier are not also important. It is wrong to assume that working on these will have an effect on the others but it can happen. Behavioral disputing challenges clients, usually in a homework exercise to change beliefs about behavior that is perhaps causing anxiety or relationship difficulties. Some clients respond better to visualizing their irrational beliefs in the form of images. Imaginal disputing uses such images to show the client the full force of their belief and then an image of how it might look when the belief was no longer there. The final and seen as most difficult is emotive disputing. The most recognized techniques here are the ‘shame-attacking ‘  exercise where clients are encouraged to act in exactly the way they fear in order to show that they over-exaggerate the reaction of others. Another technique is the ‘self-disclosure’ exercise where clients disclose information to others that they have kept hidden.

Dr. Nicholas Jenner is a Counseling psychologist in private practice working with individuals, couples, groups and companies. Apart from seeing clients face-to-face, Dr Jenner also runs a thriving online therapy business bringing help to those who are housebound or located in rural locations where therapy is difficult to find. For more information , follow the link to his website HERE

Want to know more about Dr Nicholas Jenner? Check out what his clients say….HERE

Guest Blog Writer….Perfectionism is not Perfect.

As part of a homework assignment, I recently asked a client to write an essay on perfectionism. I was astounded at how well he did this. I think his points will strike a chord with many people. Part of his essay is reproduced with his full permission.

 Perfectionism is not perfect!

I first thought it would be easy to write about this topic, but somehow I just couldn’t find the motivation to write. I also didn’t know where to start.

I wasn’t aware that perfectionism is affecting so many areas of my life, until I was showed in which ways it does. I was always aware, that I’m a bit perfectionist, but it didn’t really bother me much nor others around me. I thought there were other reasons why I couldn’t find a partner in my life, but wouldn’t have thought, that perfectionism is the main cause. I also always thought, that trying to do things in an exact way, considering as many details as possible (thus in a perfectionist way) is desirable. In some areas it is, like in my work, but in others – especially ones personal life and in relationships, it’s not. People and the world aren’t perfect, so pursuing to live in a perfect environment is comparable to the quest of finding the holy grail. Aside from that, there is also much to learn and benefit from imperfection: if everything would be perfect, flawless, equal, there would be not much variety, and variety is what makes the world the interesting place it is. I suppose a perfect world with perfect people actually wouldn’t be a place we would feel comfortable in. The next problem which arises is the define, or rather decide or distinguish between perfect and imperfect.

I’ve for the last years have been pursuing perfectionism in many areas of my life. As far as I understand it now, this behaviour was motivated by specific circumstances in my younger years, of which some didn’t change until today. I think the predominant was my father. I understood that he was an unhappy man for most of the marriage with my mom. Life brought him into a situation, where he was stuck in a world he didn’t feel happy in, and he didn’t find a way out of it. As a result he always pointed out the flaws of others to us kids, at the same time never admitting or supposedly not even noticing, that he is “faulty” in the same way as the people he is complaining about.
But our parents are the people we want most of all to be proud of us. So I concluded, that if I want dad to be proud of me I shouldn’t be like any of the people he is complaining about. The only problem was, that there were no such people, but I didn’t notice that back then. But there were visible character and appearance characteristics dad usually complained about, so I would just have to avoid those.
Applying these rules to myself was not hard, as I had a lot of endurance and strength to accept this idealistic regime and try to become such an idol. But it was always difficult to accept that most of my friends and people around were showing these claimed imperfections in their behaviour and appearance. The outcome sometimes being, that I thought of them as less worth or not good enough. A feeling of pity for them also came up just as well as disappointment, when I tried to show them a different way – a way to “improve” themselves – which they wouldn’t follow. Instead of enjoying the time spent together, my mind – set to perfectionism – was usually labeling it as a waste of time and the people as not worth it. My personal pursuit of being perfect and wishing others to follow only alienated me more from them. Being a foreigner in the country I grew up in made it harder to notice these erroneous thoughts, as in many ways we were different anyway, so them being “lesser” was just a part of their difference. But for dad there was always something to complain about everybody, including fellow countrymen, so even them were usually lesser and not worth spending too much time with.
It’s difficult to have friends, when one usually only sees their imperfections, instead of their positive sides! And the world without friends is a lonely place. In my case this also manifested itself in trying to find the “perfect” girlfriend. The girl had to fulfill all of the wishes both, my mom (had to be good-looking, thin, intelligent, …) and dad (not exhibit one of those gazillion flaws he picked on) rather indirectly postulated. In addition to that, she was not allowed to be like my mom, as I was perfectly aware that mom and dad didn’t get along well at all, so if the girl I would be with was similar to my mom, and me being similar to my dad (which I am in many ways). The main insight I had recently is that perfectionist behaviour always comes with a price. In the examples above it was the feeling of loneliness just as well as guilt for thinking bad (they are “lesser”) about people and friends. The other price tags that follow are time, effort, sacrifices, and even harm.
When one tends towards perfectionist behaviour simple things suddenly become a science in themselves. Something as simple as writing a letter or email can be done “quick & dirty” or perfect. Usually one writes to communicate. Our brains cope very well with spelling mistakes, some additional or lacking spaces, too many empty lines, wrong punctuation marks, missing or double words (when one stops to think a sentence over and writes the same thing twice;). But sending a letter like that for the perfectionist is not acceptable. The spell checker is constantly on, a non proportional font which shows too many spaces is used, and the text is reread before sending, just to make sure there are no mistakes in terms of grammar or misplaced/redundant words. In addition it would not be acceptable for the text not to have logic transitions. So the time to write a “perfect” mail is much higher than one without all of the effort put into it, while both – the normal and perfect ones – communicate the same ideas to the receiver. Of course, a nicely written email definitely is nicer to read by the recipient, but often the invested time could be used for more enjoyable things in life, than rereading ones own words. (Btw. this text was not reread before I send it off;).
The other side of the coin with writing perfect emails is reading emails and noticing all imperfections. They don’t really make a difference, as the content is understood, but they do bother the perfectionist eye. Instead of concentrating on the content, one feels disturbed by the flaws with negative and often despising thoughts about the author.estined not to work out. Thus this “wonder woman” would have to satisfy traits, which are written in a book with endless pages.

I think like with everything in life, perfectionist tendencies need to be in balance. They have benefits (I made many interesting experiences during my quest for perfectionism), but also – as just pointed out – a great deal of disadvantages, up to a point where they become disturbing, impeding, destructive, or even pathological. For them to stop causing problems in one’s life, one needs to become aware of them and find their initial motivations. Then one can learn to use them constructively, instead of letting them take over our lives. In my case, it was the wish to be appreciated and recognized as somebody worthy by my dad which caused most of them to manifest themselves. Connected with that came a lack of self-esteem and a resulting fear of being dismissed by society as somebody unworthy if one wouldn’t do everything in a perfect manner (“what will somebody think of me, when I send them an imperfect mail”, with the assumption, that they will feel equally “distracted” as one oneself does when receiving an imperfect mail). But I recognized that most of such thoughts simply don’t stand the test of reality (thank you for the vocabulary Dr. Jenner!:), thus are simply a waste of time and energy, which can be used to enjoy life, rather than trying to achieve an unreachable goal: there is no end in perfectionism – everything can be improved… even the text I just wrote, but who cares!!;)

Dr. Nicholas Jenner is a Counseling psychologist in private practice working with individuals, couples, groups and companies. Apart from seeing clients face-to-face, Dr Jenner also runs a thriving online therapy business bringing help to those who are housebound or located in rural locations where therapy is difficult to find. For more information , follow the link to his website HERE

Want to know more about Dr Nicholas Jenner? Check out what his clients say….HERE

 

This is what makes my job worth doing…..Thank you!!

These are all special people who have taken the brave step to get help. I am just the conduit that helps them to do it. They have all worked extremely hard to improve their lives. Good luck to all of them!!

When I first found Dr Jenner on the internet I was at my wit’s end. I was desperate and feeling utterly hopeless. My wife’s illness was at an all time low, she had just attempted suicide again and the conflict between us was all-consuming me. The first email reply I received from Dr Jenner just gave me so much hope. The relationship between my wife and myself is now the best it has ever been, Dr Jenner has been such an enormous help to both her and to the relationship between us! It takes someone with a real passion for people and a compassion for them, to be able to help in the way that I have experienced with Dr Jenner. He possesses a deep understanding of human nature and possesses all the skills to enable us to transition ourselves to be the people we were meant to be, freed from baggage of the past and false guilt and negative feelings of ourselves and our relationships with others. If it had not been for Dr Jenner, I think my life would have been very different today

GT, Client from South Africa

Dr. Nicholas Jenner, is a caring, human being. He goes above and beyond his duty of being a psychologist. He is trustworthy and an honest person. He is not just one of those psychologists who just sits there without any passion in his work in helping people overcome their struggles. He helps me by pushing me to see the positive, and to believe in hope that there is another, a better life, that I can live the life I want to live. He helps me see and believe in rational thoughts and to continue fighting against all the negative. Dr. Jenner not only gives you tips, advice, guidance, and support but he gives you hope and encouragement. One day he wrote me these words that I will never forget. “I would love to see the day you are happy and well….and you can do it, never forget that.

JMK, Client from the US

Dr. Nick Jenner has been incredibly effective in helping to deal with issues that I have long suppressed.  It’s taken three counselors and many years to deal with these issues.  Nick’s the one that cracked it!  I value his guidance as I continue to work on these issues and their ramifications.  With his help I will continue to improve my life and my health.

JP, Customer from Wiesbaden, Germany and the US

“If angels in human form existed, Dr. Jenner qualifies.

Struggling with life and lacking coping mechanisms, Dr. Jenner helped me realize in the most honest yet compassionate way, that I sat in an aura of negativity which affected my health, relationships and daily life.  One day I realized I was a case study and thought, I’d rather be a success case study instead.  In just a few months I’ve been able to get back in the driver’s seat of my life and while I still have flashbacks and moments of fears, challenges and occasional breakdowns, Dr. Jenner has introduced me to new tools and techniques to help survive the episodes of anxiety, panic, depression and suicidal thoughts I occasionally experience.  I also learned I possess perfectionism standards and how this hinders my happiness, something I’d argue in the past I, in fact, never possessed!    The road to recovery has a light at its end after almost 7 years of emotional hell and so again, for me, Dr. Jenner was sent from the Gods to help little lost souls who need just a nudge – or a push! – to get on the correct trajectory.  On a more personal note, Dr. Jenner is an incredibly compassionate, warm and authentic man.  He’s a rare individual in the sense that he carries around him a bubble of calm, peace and welcome.  His passion to help others is evident and all this combined makes him trustworthy as well.  He calls and writes to check up on me, especially if I’m going through difficult episodes and has always offered the impression he truly cares about my recovery rather than my business, per se.  Professionally, he’s done everything right thus far.  Between face to face sessions and “mindwork” assignments at home, access to him between sessions, a blog to rejolt my memory on important points and much more, Dr. Jenner is the best example of a fine man and psychologist I’ve come across in my lifetime.  I’m deeply grateful his path crossed mine and I can’t recommend him enough.”

Anon, Client from America

For the last 15y my life was a sequence of reoccurring mental ups and downs and my attitude impeded any relationship. Being the self-analytic I am, I tried to figure out a solution myself. I approached Dr. Jenner when I once again understood, that I won’t manage to break out of this cycle. From the first moment on I felt that he cares about my problems and is motivated to help me into a more enjoyable life. I found him very personable and noticed quickly, that he really listens to what I have to say. He helped me to distinguish which of my behaviours result from witnessing the dysfunctional relationship of my parents, and which evolved from my multicultural upbringing. Being a cross cultural kid himself, he could relate to many feelings I felt which was important to me. Although it’s not easy to change 25y-deeply rooted behaviours, I am confident that with his help I’m finally on the path towards a lasting change – a very positive change! For this, I’ll be forever grateful: Thank you!

K, Client from Austria

A few years ago, I had nothing to live for. I was going through a messy divorce with a better than average chance my kids would be taken away.  I felt like ending it all. I asked Dr Jenner for help to see me through this period and due to his constant encouragement, pushing and making me see sense, I got through it. I cannot thank him enough. I always remember him calling me at 11.30 in the evening and talking with me for over two hours. I would recommend him every time.

S, Client from the US

Dr. Nicholas Jenner is a Counseling psychologist in private practice working with individuals, couples, groups and companies. Apart from seeing clients face-to-face, Dr Jenner also runs a thriving online therapy business bringing help to those who are housebound or located in rural locations where therapy is difficult to find. For more information , follow the link to his website HERE

Criticism can be helpful…when you see it that way!

Getting positive feedback from others is always nice but sometimes we have to face criticism as well. Of course, nobody likes this. Depending on the criticism, the situation and the person criticising, it can leave us feeling anything from mildly thoughtful to humiliated and feeling worthless.

Winston Churchill once said: “Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfills the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.” Unfortunately, not many people enjoy criticism. In fact, many have developed a thick skin and take pride in their ability to brush it off and move on. However, despite its negative connotation, criticism often presents an excellent opportunity to grow . An effective response to criticism, that is without getting angry or taking it personally could leave you thanking the critic for their help!!

Your response to criticism can be seen as a process that you can go through to less the blow and engage your critic in constructive interaction. Firstly:

1. Keep anger out of it!

It has always been my feeling that in every criticism is some truth, however small. Nothing is ever so black and white to say that someone is wrong or right.  It is easy to get  angry when you receive criticism and this is most people’s first reaction. This is not a good position to switch to. Take a few deep breaths and calm yourself down. There is no point in just talking back though it might seem to be the natural thing to do. Doing so will just escalate proceedings to the status of an argument with neither side getting anywhere. Often we believe we are being personally attacked. This comes from looking at the situation through our own window of reference and applying our own interpretations. This can lead us to making false assumptions about what the critic is trying to say. It is sometimes helpful to put yourself in the critic’s position and look at the situation from their angle.

2. Listen carefully!

It may be our first reaction to jump in and correct our critic and add our own points to the discussion but by doing so, we may be losing a valuable opportunity. Instead of taking an offensive stand and creating a hostile situation, try calming yourself down and paying attention to what the person has to say. It might be of help to you. Ask yourself these questions. Can I learn something from this criticism? Is there something here that I might not like to hear but may help me? Some criticism may be helpful and some may not be. Some people tend to criticize just to put you down or sometimes because they’re having a tough time. In such situations, it is better to stay focused and try to understand the other person. He/she might be upset because of someone or something and just releasing his/her trapped anger. There is no meaning in half of what people say in such situations and at this stage you can decide to respond or not. If you’re not sure whether to agree with someone’s criticism, or if the person giving it seems to be upset or angry about something else entirely, feel free to take a moment to process it all. It’s OK to acknowledge the criticism and ask for time to think it over.

3. Watch that non-verbal behavior.

Your body language and tone of voice can either help or complicate the situation and non-verbal behavior can give away a lot of clues about what we are thinking or planning to do next. Assume a “neutral” posture; keep your arms on the table, in your lap or a combination of both. Maintain eye contact, and be aware of your shifting weight. Avoid crossing your arms, tightening your fists, pursing your lips or rolling your eyes.

4. Start  your response with agreement.

The easiest thing to do is to dismiss criticism (if it is constructive) and the person giving it and walk away. However, if you have been truly listening to what was said, an effective response can aid communication and give you an opportunity to learn from it. If we believe an earlier statement that in every criticism is an element of truth, we can be big enough to actually agree with the criticism. A short statement such as “you could be right to a certain extent” or “there is a certain truth to what you say” takes the heat out of the situation and shows that you are open to taking criticism. One of the hardest things to do when you’re criticized is to admit that it’s true. When it is, you can your do best to acknowledge the issue but you don’t have to be overly apologetic. . By admitting fault, you’re taking ownership of the problem and you’re proving that you’re a mature adult.

5. Question, get facts or descriptions, not opinions.

It is only fair that your critic is prepared to give you more information if you ask for it. This information should be based on clear facts and descriptions, not personal opinions. Opinions are assumptions made about you based on things that have transpired; if you’re receiving criticism, be sure to get details and descriptions of the things that specifically caused the  problem. Don’t accept generalizations; instead, ask for clarity or specific examples so that you’re able to address issues in the future. This also keeps the conversation focused .

6. Take corrective action if needed.

After you’ve heard the other person out completely, and listened to any suggestions for improvement, communicate your eagerness to improve in the future. If appropriate, describe what you will do to counterbalance your previous error.

7. Acknowledge the other person.

Thank the other person for the feedback and make sure to state how valuable you consider it. This demonstrates your ability to use criticism as a way to improve . In addition, let the other person know that you are open to receiving feedback in the future.

Dr. Nicholas Jenner is a Counseling psychologist in private practice working with individuals, couples, groups and companies. Apart from seeing clients face-to-face, Dr Jenner also runs a thriving online therapy business bringing help to those who are housebound or located in rural locations where therapy is difficult to find. For more information , follow the link to his website HERE

Want to know more about Dr Nicholas Jenner? Check out what his clients say….HERE

Black Dog - Finding the right doctor

Reblogged from Musings From A Mortal Mind:

© SANE – Mental health charity – Meeting the challenge of mental illness

Sometimes I just need………

As a therapist, I like to become involved with my clients. Encouraging, probing, challenging and motivating them means that my work can become fairly intense emotionally. I try to help this process by leaving enough time between appointments for my mind to rest and recover so that I can be “on the ball” for the next client.

Sometimes though, much as I love my work, I need more than the thirty minutes of relaxation time…I need that day or so when I keep out of my office and do something, anything else instead. This keeps the mind fresh and ready to help others with challenges. So what do I do in this period? I live in an area that is pure nature, green fields surrounded by dense forests and rolling hills. There is nothing better than getting out in the fresh air (with my pregnant wife and two dogs) to bring things back down to earth. This is a great time of year, warm sunshine, fresh breeze and things growing. I often advise my clients that a walk in the countryside can never do anyone any harm! The power of nature is well-known and two of my greatest influences have nature at the center of their belief. Carl Rogers, honed his view of life on his appreciation of all things natural. As a young boy he was fascinated by the consistency of nature and despite all our best efforts, how unwavering it is. The native Americans, a culture that intrigues me believe strongly in the spirit of nature. One of my favorite authors, Lewis Mehl-Madrona, quoted in his book Coyote Medicine that “our lives are regulated in stories passed down through the generations and these stories are tied to the land. The mistake we make is that we believe the Earth belongs to us. In essence we belong to the Earth and we will return to the Earth. The only time we hear bad stories is when we anger the spirits by trying to change the Earth for our own benefit without putting anything back”….enough said.

Secondly, I have a rather large, complicated garden. Complicated by the fact that it is terraced and on a slope. At the top, I have planted fruit trees at the top end and at the bottom, lawn and shrubs. I spent most of the weekend tending to these (as best I can with one good arm) and it is unbelievable how empowering it feels to see everything grow and flourish. It is rather like a relationship….the more work you put in, the better the results. Maybe my pastimes are not too far away from my work after all!

Dr. Nicholas Jenner is a Counseling psychologist in private practice working with individuals, couples, groups and companies. Apart from seeing clients face-to-face, Dr Jenner also runs a thriving online therapy business bringing help to those who are housebound or located in rural locations where therapy is difficult to find. For more information , follow the link to his website HERE

Want to know more about Dr Nicholas Jenner? Check out what his clients say….HERE

Adolescence….that magical time of discovery.

We can all remember that awkward, difficult time as adolescents where the picture didn’t ever really fit, rebellious was more than just a word and parents looked and sounded ancient. However adolescence is one of the most important life stages in the development of a human being.  Scientists have assumed until recently that by the time adolescence arrives the brain is fully grown. Though more recent studies using MRI technology have found that actually the brain carries on growing in the 20′s, with reasoning skills developing last. This places a new light on adolescent behavior and the way is has been treated by frustrated parents.  I quote from the study :

“What’s happening during adolescence that turns many once-sweet kids into unruly rabble-rousers? At least part of the reason may be that adolescent brains process information differently than adult brains, according to research led by neuropsychologist Deborah Todd-Yurgelun, PhD, of Harvard University’s McLean Hospital Cognitive Neuroimaging and Neuropsychology Laboratory. She and her team are using neuroimaging to investigate the neural underpinnings of the emotional turmoil many teens experience. And those imaging technologies are revealing brain differences that could explain teen traits that exasperate adults, including impulsivity, poor judgment and social anxiety.

Rebellious teen behavior could stem more from biology than stubbornness, says Yurgelun-Todd.

“Don’t assume that because you’ve laid out the argument or presented the idea that teenagers are interpreting it in the same way you’ve presented it,” she advises. “The frontal cortex is continuing to develop, and if you don’t have the neural structure in place, the adolescent cannot really think things through at the same level as an adult.”

Despite the scientific research, this can be a confusing time for kids. M Scott Peck, in his bestseller, The Road Less Travelled, describes the time known as adolescence as a time of experiment and impulsiveness, punctuated by a lack of respect and discipline. This just about sums up what going through this important life stage is all about. From puberty to adulthood, various changes take place that will shape life to come and have a major bearing on everything that happens afterwards. We can all remember being that awkward half-child, half-adult nervously taking those shy, tentative first steps into adulthood. Some may look back on this time fondly, wondering about the newly-found independence and freedom from parental influence. Others will only remember the problems that inevitably brings. What is it about this magical, mixed-up period of our lives that has such a bearing on us?

The main feature of adolescence is the psychological search for a personal identity and a move away from family influence. This causes many major problems that can lead to confusion over sexual orientation, inappropriate behaviour, drug abuse or social isolation. Among the many changes taking place at this time, adolescents must face essential physical and mental changes as well. Biologically, there are major changes taking place in a physical, sexual and emotional way. Adolescents also become increasingly aware cognitively as well. The method of processing information and thinking critically starts to take shape. Additionally, there is increasing social pressure from peers, society in general and especially from parents and authority figures. By overcoming these obstacles. a balanced adult will emerge.

Even in a ‘normal’ family, adolescence is as hard on parents as it is on the adolescent. There may, for the first time, be a sense of rebellion and challenge in the relationship and most parents find it hard to ‘be there’ even though, it is more important at this stage to offer guidance than ever. Additionally, early life experiences within the family can have a major bearing on how difficult adolescence can be. Children who feel securely attached to their parents are generally better equipped to cope but even then it is a case of both parents and child learning the new skills needed. Children who have been the victims of neglect, emotional, physical or sexual abuse are usually at risk of adolescence becoming a time of major difficulty and many go on to become adults who repeat their own parent’s behaviour. Children who are left traumatised by violence or witnessing terrorist acts or natural disasters also carry this trauma forward. It must be noted that even though early experiences are an indicator for problems in adolescence, counsellors must also take into account genetic predisposition’s which can also be a factor.

Dr. Nicholas Jenner is a Counseling psychologist in private practice working with individuals, couples, groups and companies. Apart from seeing clients face-to-face, Dr Jenner also runs a thriving online therapy business bringing help to those who are housebound or located in rural locations where therapy is difficult to find. For more information , follow the link to his website HERE

CBT is on the rise as a preferred treatment.

More and more health authorities are using CBT as a preferred treatment for a number of different mental health issues and that number is set to rise. As a therapist who primarily uses CBT techniques as a main approach, I know just how effective they can be.

The basic assumption behind Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is that one’s thoughts influence one’s emotions and behaviors, and that if negative thoughts are altered, negative  emotions  and  behaviors can be altered as  well. We are what we think, so to say. By  using a series of practical and easy to use methods, CBT looks at changing the “here and now” which means that less time is spent on delving into a clients’ past. This has a direct effect on a client’ s daily life and his ability to handle dysfunctional thought patterns that tend to affect mood  and  happiness.  In a therapeutic  alliance, the  therapist  and  client explore  and  try  to  change  these  thought  patterns.  CBT  has  a  strong  educational element to it in  the sense that the relationship built up in therapy serves as a model for other relationships. The  therapist  helps  the  client  to  formulate  problems  in  cognitive  terms,  and  is constantly inviting feedback from the client to ensure that he/she feels understood and can learn to contribute jointly with the therapist to the treatment. It is very much a problem – solving approach. Central to this approach is the use of Ellis’s ABC model which charts the relationship between a triggering event, the resulting behavior and how  dysfunctional  thought  patterns complicate  the  issue. The use of  homework assignments is used to consolidate what takes place in the session.  Goals are set in behavioral terms and potential solutions are tested out in practice: clients  are  encouraged to explore options for change  and evaluate  outcomes by comparing progress with previous experience and hence are encouraged to take an objective, scientific, view of their problems. In this way, clients are taught, in theory, to  become  their  own  therapists and  are thus  prepared  to  deal  with  relapse  and problems if and when they arise in the future.

Even though many studies have suggested that CBT is an effective treatment for a range of issues ¹, there are still dissenting voices who believe that other methods should be considered. For example, A.S Petridis PhD² wrote an article in 2009 questioning the evidence that CBT is any more effective than any other method and came to the conclusion that “there is clear evidence from studies that no  one method is any better or worse than any other”. Also, John   M. Grohol, PsyD, cited a study that directly compared psychoanalysis with CBT on study groups, a first of its kind, and wrote that the study revealed no real difference in effectiveness.³ Additionally CBT methods have been criticized, most notably by Dr Oliver James who started a debate among the medical community when he claimed:   “There is not a single scientific study which supports that claim ( that CBT is effective),” says Dr James.”Being cheap, quick and simplistic, CBT naturally appeals to the government. Yet the fact is, it doesn’t work,” added Dr James. This was quickly countered by other professionals.

However, the future development of CBT seems assured. A recent study by the Psychiatric Clinics of North America claimed that CBT is the method with the greatest amount of scientific evidence backing it  but that evidence also said that CBT needs to evolve and a number of new methods that could add to its effectiveness hold promise.  This was widely discussed in a study cited in Psychiatry News in 2006 *. Authors noted that several studies had revealed CBT is being used more often for bipolar and other severe mental disorders. There was also mention of drugs being developed to increase the efficiency of CBT techniques and the methods being used in a group therapy session. It is also becoming the treatment of choice for the justice system as well if an article from the Office of Justice** programs is to be believed . They stated the concept of taking responsibility and working on perceived entitlement as two areas where CBT is highly effective. All of this says that CBT has a bright future and will most likely become widely practiced in all areas of mental health care.

As a therapist with many years of experience, I tend to see myself as integrative .  I have always considered the ability to use more than one method beneficial for the client. This has been borne out in many therapeutic situations I have found myself in. I first came across CBT about ten years ago and have been a keen supporter ever since. Despite the criticism aimed at the method (see last section), I find it the most effective treatment for the widest range of issues available. I have used it in various situations over the years from depression to bipolar to clients with low self – esteem and interestingly also clients who have  lost a purpose in life due to job loss, grief or separation . In contrast to other methods, CBT really does make a difference in a clients daily life and as most sessions are based on dealing with present issues, one can say that it also goes a long way towards keeping clients in therapy. I once heard it described “CBT sessions mostly aim at making sure clients have a good week”. I believe this sums it up perfectly.   It is truly amazing to see people have that “aha” moment when they fill out the worksheets or realize by being challenged how they had been thinking wrongly over the years.  I have also found that CBT can be easily locked together with other therapies to give the client an individual solution. Those therapists trained in, for example, CBT and psychoanalysis can create a “package” that provides a solution for dysfunctional thinking in the present with a deep analysis of the origin of the client. Even though advocates of  these therapies often seem to be at odds with each other, I actually believe they can form a working alliance for the good of the client. I have often done this in an integrative approach when needed and had good results. In these cases, engaging in psychoanalysis actually helped strengthen the CBT methods by helping to put the past in perspective.

Dr. Nicholas Jenner is a Counseling psychologist in private practice working with individuals, couples, groups and companies. Apart from seeing clients face-to-face, Dr Jenner also runs a thriving online therapy business bringing help to those who are housebound or located in rural locations where therapy is difficult to find. For more information , follow the link to his website HERE

References

¹http://www2.som.uq.edu.au,et al

² http://soultherapynow.com/articles/cbt – effectiveness2.html

³http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2009/08/09/psychodynamic-therapy – vs-cbt-smackdown- for- anxiety/

* http://psychnews.psychiatryonline.org/newsarticle.aspx?articleid=109699

**  http://www. nij .gov/journals/265/therapy.htm